8.13.19 at 1:18am

 

Well, here’s the font I made today. It’s not perfect, but I’ll be able to edit it and improve on this first edition soon.

 

This isn’t even the place to put the journal logs.

 

I’ll create a special “post type” for these.

 

I thought of this idea today… to create a “journal log” for the Integral Yogis membership/tribe.

 

It’s an interesting idea.

 

And I think it’s made even more unique if it’s in my own handwriting. Typing in my own handwriting is kind of funny.

 

Anyways…

 

Today, I went for a run. Probably over 1 mile, actually.

 

I ran to the end of the sub. Moon was out. Beautiful. Almost a full one. She was spreading her blessings all across the world. I felt her on my heart.

 

I went for this run because today I had many doubts.

 

“I don’t know” seems like a mantra of mine lately. Mostly kept in secret, but there it is.

 

I shared it with Kayla a little bit.

 

So much I do not know.

 

So much I have studied and experienced directly (which is baffling that one can doubt even these remarkable happenings and the knowledge given in them).

 

I was reading a book called “Chakana” over the weekend, and the author mentioned something that rings true…

 

Many things he had also learned, integrated, and directly experienced… but, he forgot them.

 

They didn’t become ‘living experiences’ for him, until the moment when he was ripe. When the alignment happened and all of this was right there. It never left him.

 

I know this to be true too.

 

Oh! I almost forgot to mention this…

 

Back to the run…

 

After basking in the moonlight after a vigorous run/walk, breathing in deeply the medicine of Florida (the smells after a hard rain are indescribable).

 

These smells and vibrations – I call them “medicine.”

 

If you experience it for yourself, tune inwards when it happens, you’ll know what I mean.

 

So, after this, I was greatly rejuvinated. I was more clear headed. (and hearted for that matter)

 

I continued inside and did a little workout to complete the exercise.

 

Afterwards, I lied down on my back with the fan blowing lightly and something happened.

 

I relaxed fully in shavasana.

 

It’s difficult to explain this…

 

As I was lying there, I felt the presence of Swami Jyotirmayananda.

 

This has only happened a few times, on it’s own (without concentration). There he was.

 

But, wait…

 

Before that, the most peculiar thing happened…

 

The smell. An impossible smell in our house.

 

A strong smell washed over me and up into my nostrils. It’s the same unique smell of swamiji’s living room and kitchen area.

 

No where else have I smelt this.

 

It smells sweet, and a little like curry mixed with many florals (there are always flowers in his living space).

 

But, no one was cooking in our house (let alone, curry) and no flowers were around.

 

Shortly after the smell, a subtle vision appeared before me of Swamiji.

 

It sounds funny, and it’s still not clear how come this was the way I met with him, but I was walking around the ashram and filming (LIVE), like a Facebook Live or something.

 

Swami Jyotirmayananda was waiting outside his door (something I’ve never seen him do, even in person).

 

He motioned for me to come over.

 

When I got there, he said it was time to put the camera away and come inside, he wanted to talk with me.

 

After that, I just became totally concentrated on the image of Swamiji.

 

No words. No thoughts.

 

Just pure emotion. Bhakti maybe? Bliss? Love?

 

No words make sense for this experience.

 

While lying there on the ground, tears welled up in my eyes.

 

I don’t know the cause.

 

They just came.

 

No sadness. Just a presence that brought on this physical reaction. I was at peace. I was full.

 

After a short time I realized, tears have not come in a long time, neither for sadness or immense joy.

 

It was a sweet and also purifying experience.

 

The tears were a form of that purification.

 

There is more, but the gift of this blessing from Swamiji is not totally communicable. Somethings must remain in our hearts only.

 

The mysterious blessings of guru and the Divine can never be totally explained; nor do they need to be.

 

Aum Namah Shivaya.

Aum Gum Gurave Namah.

 

Æ